Taking a Break!

Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need to know of hell.  ~Emily Dickinson, "Parting"

This is it, folks. As you may well know, Player 2 and I attend a very prestigious college, and along with these very prestigious colleges come very prestigious final examinations. So we're here at last, with the finals boss looming in the distance (see what I did there?).

"But... But!"

Relax, friend, we'll be back in a few weeks with Season Two! That's right, you guys are getting a sequel, aren't you excited? Of course, it will be slightly different, as we'll be 2000 miles apart. That just means that the Fun Friday format will be different. You guys will get more details on that at the beginning of next season.  Alright, I believe that's everything. Farewell, followers, wish us luck on our journey to the end. We'll see you on the other side!.

How To Not Geek Wrong

We all know the kind. It's that forty-year-old man at your local anime convention wearing the Meowth suit. It's that girl from Texas who walks around with a real wolf tail strapped on her back 24/7. It's that person who claims they're a gamer, but when you start talking to them about video games, it seems their knowledge only extends as far as that one kirby game they played that one time, and some other titles that are way too underground for you to have ever heard of them. Yeah, those people. Since coming to Smith College, Player One and I have had to deal with way too many of them, and we decided it was high time someone finally cared enough to write a guide to prevent the creation of more of these supposed "geeks." So sit back, relax, and grab some apples and tea. This could be a long ride.

1.) The Weeaboo
Now, I (Player 1) am just about to complete my second semester in Japanese. At this point, I can speak some conversational Japanese as well as the correct phrases to get through a Job Interview. I enjoy eating Ramen. I like anime and JRPGs. The important thing is that you wouldn't be able to tell any of this by just looking at me. I don't walk around in a yukata or kimono. I don't call everyone I know "-kun" or "-san" or "senpai," and I never run around spouting nonsensical phrases in Japanese. Yes, Japan has an interesting culture and anime and manga are extremely entertaining. This doesn't mean that I am obsessed with it or that I think that "MY NAME IS SAYAKO MINASE HIME AND JAPAN IS WAY BETTER THAN AMERICA IN EVERY WAY! LOL!!!111 DESU KAWAII!!! b>.<d." Trust me, idolizing Japan is not the way to go. If you like the culture, fine, but don't put it up on some disturbing pedestal.

2.) "Oh yeah, I love Metal Gear Solid. There's nothing better than shooting zombies."
The "hardcore" gamer. You know, the one you go up and talk to because they're wearing that really awesome Zelda shirt that you've always wanted, but when you actually start speaking to them you come to the sudden realization that they've never actually played video games. Now, I understand that some people really want to impress gamers that they think are cool, but from experience, I can freely say that I'd be much more impressed with you if you talked about things that you actually knew something about. Going on about how much you love Resident Evil, and then informing me that the best part of it was when Jester told Barry how much he wanted a Krill grinder, then I might question your integrity as a gamer. Let's get this right: honesty is the best policy. Try to keep to games you know, and if you're not an actual gamer, please don't masquerade as one. It's kind of offensive and incredibly irritating.

3.) "CMV" Creators
A CMV, or a "cosplay music video," is where weeaboos get together and film a music video in which they act out scenes while cosplaying as characters from video games or anime.

...

Really!? Okay, so it isn't enough that you cosplay. It isn't even enough that you go out in public while cosplaying. No, you have to take it to a whole new level of weird. You make a music video while cosplaying. I can't even... There are no words. This is worse than writing fanfiction. This is like writing really bad fanfiction, climbing up onto a building, and screaming your fanfiction to the world through a megaphone. As if that wasn't bad enough, it's a song fic. Really, have you no shame!?

4.) Caramelldansen

Okay, it's cute the first time when there's a big group of people dancing to it in the middle of the con. It's amusing the second time, when you have cosplayers facing off over who can do the dance better. It's pretty awesome when you're finally so high on being at a convention that you actually dance to it for twenty seconds. It is not awesome when someone does it in the middle of a classroom, just to prove how geeky they are...Or when you do it drunkenly in the middle of campus while shouting the lyrics out of tune at the top of your lungs. Just really. Don't.

What do you guys think? Have we missed any? Let us know!

You're Three Points From Killing the Final Boss...

Don't Screw Up

(How to Live to See the Credits)

We all know the excitement that goes through you when you're at that final moment in a boss battle. The time when you realize that all of the hard work that you've done in this game is about to pay off, and you're finally finally about to defeat this boss that you've tried to kill eight times before but failed. You're so excited you're now standing up, jumping up and down, shouting at the characters on the TV, hardly paying attention to what you're doing as you blindly press the X button... And then before you know it, you've hit the wrong button, accidentally did a healing spell instead of attacking, and you're done. We've all been there, and I've got just a few tips to help you keep your head in these last few crucial moments so you can finally break out that victory dance you've been working on since attempt #2.

Don't Panic
Okay, this is the biggest concern, which is why I'm addressing it first. Do not, and I repeat, do not think about all of your past defeats (or, if you're doing this boss for the first time) the possibility of defeat. Don't do it. You need all the confidence you can get in these last few moments, and thinking about failure is just going to undermine your resolve and make you second guess your actions. Just think about victory in these moments, the sweet smell of it, the final cutscene that you get to watch once you're done with this, and how happy you're going to be that you finally beat this game. Now, that's not to say that you should throw caution to the wind. Just approach this portion of the battle like it's just another segment of the boss battle; changing things up here is only going to throw you off and cause you even more distress. Just keep to your usual strategies and plug away at that boss's hit points.

Don't Celebrate too Early
Don't give your victory war cry when you go in for that final hit, only to realize that in your overzealous celebration you decided to heal your party member from paralysis instead of actually aiming for the boss. You can whoop it up all you want once that final hit is scored. Besides, your victory dance will look much better if you're dancing in front of the credits as opposed to the death screen.

Don't Hyperventilate; Take Things Slowly.
If you're playing a turn-based RPG, take your time, think things through. You have all the time in the world to make your decisions, and now's the time to use that head of yours. If you're the only one left standing, you'd probably be better off bringing up one of your party members that's a tank as opposed to trying to get in those last few hits by yourself. As I've said before, you need to keep your focus. You've come this far, you can't jeapordize your efforts now.

And Finally, When You Beat the Boss, Celebrate Like You've Never Celebrated Before
Last Friday I finally beat Nyx in Persona 3 FES and I was so excited about it I believe that I shouted loud enough that the entire house heard me. (Not to mention me flailing about it for a good two hours afterward and being jittery for the rest of the evening. I think everyone thought I was drunk, and I was...On victory!) Let yourself loose, the worst is over! (Well, until you see that final cutscene and have your heart ripped out... But that's a blog post for another time.)

So how do you guys deal with the pressure of those last crucial seconds of a boss battle? Let me know!

Comfortable Gaming Positions

I don't care what you say, there's nothing like gaming in a Snuggie!

Everyone likes to be comfortable while gaming, am I right? I mean, let's face it. You're going to be sitting in one position for a couple of hours (at least), so it only makes sense that you're as relaxed as possible for that time. After all, nothing's worse than losing a boss fight because you were distracted by a stiff back. I've seen many gamers with their own preferences and I definitely have a couple of favorites of my own.

Laying Down

My brother tends to prefer this method and when all you have is a bed in front of the T.V., I'll admit that it's pretty convenient. Sadly, I'm not too much of a fan of this method. Laying on my stomach while propped up on my elbows hurts my back after a while, where as laying on my back, even with a pillow, hurts my neck. Plus, I've always felt that laying down during an intense scene or battle was a little inappropriate. If you're laying down, it's hard to be on the edge of your seat without falling off. Just saying.

In a Chair

This is a favorite of Player 2. Specifically, my roommate's chair, which she is convinced actually belongs to her. Actually, given that she spends more time in it than my actual roommate, I can't really say I disagree. Seriously, though, chairs are nice. They're supportive and if you have a desk in front of you, they're the best for PC gaming. I enjoy my room's set up immensely, even if I do have to get up and pop my back every once in awhile so that it doesn't get too stiff. It's definitely an improvement over laying down, in my opinion.

On a Couch

Now, this is by far my favorite. Specifically, up against one armrest with one leg tucked under myself and the other sprawled across the length of the couch. So much comfort to be had in this position. It's relaxed. The cushions are soft. You can even prop up your laptop on the armrest!

In a Box, With a Fox

Ha ha, just kidding.

Blankets vs. Snuggies

Now I know what you're thinking. A Snuggie? Really?  Yes, dear gamer, really. Look, I get cold when I don't move for a while, and I want to be warm while still being able to hold a controller. Now, Player 2 claims that she can usually just have the controller under the blankets but that bothers me. I guess I just don't like the feeling of cloth covering my hands when I'm gaming. Then again, my hands are very sensitive, so this may just be me. Seriously, I can't even stand to hold chalk or dusty rocks in my hands. It sets my teeth on edge.

What about you guys? Any particular gaming positions that you enjoy? Let me know!

Battling Nyx: LIVE

An Interview With Player 2, brought to you by Player 1!

So, if you've been following the blog this week, you'll know that our very own Player 2 has been struggling with the final boss in Persona 3 FES. Well, today is a very special Fun Friday in that I (Player 1) will be interviewing her as she attempts this boss for the, get this, eighth time! So without further ado, lets get this interview underway.

So, Rachel, as we speak, you are working your way through the first portion of this boss fight. Can you describe your thoughts?

Well, I'm hoping that it goes a little better than it did last time, but I don't really think it will give me that much troub-
Akihiko, you asshole!

So, anyway-

Oh, F***er! The Bros! Mitsuru! What the hell?! Why is it so difficult for you people? I don't understand!  Okay you better stay up this ti- MITSURU! Okay, she's brought you back three times, you'd better stay up... Thank you.

What would you say, in this first portion of the battle, is Nyx's most annoying attack?


Um, usually when he does his double Almighty Attack, it's kind of a pain if I need to heal but also bring up my SP that turn. Now that we're going into this leveled up, though, it shouldn't be that much of an issue. It's really his attacks in the later portion of the battle that are annoying.

Interesting, so, what are your thoughts on Aigis in this battle?

Well, I know a lot of people don't use Aigis, which is surprising because I love her to death, but that's beside the point. I think she's pretty indispensable because she has can take a lot of damage.. and her status effects are really useful. I mean, that raised defense has save us several times. Especially in the last portion of the battle, Orgia Mode comes in handy. 

Hmm, that it does. So, here we are in the second stage of Nyx. What are your initial thoughts on his changed attack style?


It's kind of interesting because he's really smart one turn and then really stupid the next. He really makes you have to focus on healing one turn and then attacking the next, and he's not afraid about targeting the protagonist at all. I think this really sets him apart from the rest of the bosses in this game.

Okay, we just got into his "Moonless Gown" stage. Would you say that this battle is a lot about preparation?

Uh, yes! This battle definitely forces you to level up. Even when I was at level 70, I was struggling through the easiest part of this battle. It really comes down to willingness of the player to put in the time and effort for this fight. All I can say is that leveling up, while it is a bitch, comes in handy in this fight. It takes experience, which I think comes after having your ass handed to you several times, unfortunately.

Speaking of having your ass handed to you, would you say that your past defeats have also helped you prepare?

Yes, they definitely have. It helps to have an idea of what's coming up next. It also helps as far as strategy is concerned because now I'm pretty much an old hand at everything that happens in this battle.

In this portion of the battle, Nyx tends to use a lot of status effects like fear, panic, distress, etc. What status effect pisses you off the most?

Well I think that would obviously have to be charmed, because at least five out of the seven times I've been defeated have been because he has charmed one of my party members and subsequently had them heal him to full health and/or charmed me and had me use Diarahan on him, and that is not okay! Never, ever!

Those were tragic times, weren't they? Alright, we're getting to that time again. The final stage of Nyx, with his dreaded Night Queen attack. How are you feeling?

Kind of nervous, actually to be quite honest. Okay! This is it! Come on Minato, don't fail me now! ... OH! I LOVE THIS TEAM!


Interview End

Okay, I got a little distracted right there at the end because the boss battle got intense. Sadly, we're chalking this one up as an eighth defeat here at Apples and Tea. It looks like it's going to take a bit more time for this boss to go down. Well, what can I say? You guys are just going to hang around and wait to see if our luck turns around at some point.

Peace!

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

So you've played 50+ hours of the game that you love. You've fought your way through all of the hardships, mourned the loss of half of your party, come to adore the characters and what they're fighting for, and now you've finally come to the final boss. You know you're ready for it: you can thrash every enemy in the final dungeon with your eyes closed, you've beaten the two bosses before it without even breaking a sweat... Everything will go perfectly, right? ...Right?

Wrong. Turns out, the final boss is ten times harder than you ever expected. Now you have several options left to you, but none of them sound appealing. What should you do? Well, dear reader, after suffering my seventh defeat at the hands of the final boss of Persona 3, I've come to realize a few important things that have kept me from shelving the game out of sheer frustration, and I'm here to share these with you.

When to Accept Defeat Against the Final Boss

So as Player One has learned, I am the type of person that doesn't take kindly to failure in video games. Can't date Mitsuru until I'm a genius? Can't date Aigis until she gets emotions? Can't beat the final boss at level 70? Well all I have to say is: challenge accepted. The problem with this attitude is, sometimes you do need to put in the extra work to make these things happen. I think one of the most important things to keep in mind while trying to deal with the sheer frustration of not being able to progress farther in the game is to try and keep an open mind to the possibility of further leveling up. Now, I don't mean to say that this is an easy task to accomplish. As Player One knows, I've only just accepted the fact that just maybe level 73 isn't going to cut it for this boss, and I need to go up to 75 or 80. Sometimes you just have to grit your teeth, remind yourself that everyone has said the ending is epic and you really want to see the bonus content that you can access afterward, and go at that last dungeon one more time. "But Rachel," you whine, "all of the enemies in the final dungeon are only giving me 1,000 EXP each, and I need 20,000 EXP to level up for just this level." Believe me, restless gamer, I understand your pain. In fact, I was so opposed to leveling up that I tried the final boss in Persona about five times before, kicking and screaming all the way, I finally resolved that it was not the best track to take. Just think, after the hours that you spend grinding, you're going to have such an easy time with the boss that you'll definitely be able to beat it on the first go the next time around (or at least, that's what I keep telling myself...)

Another thing to keep in mind is that, even if you do get defeated, don't take it out on everyone around you. Don't throw your controller at the wall (see Victoria's last post), don't yell at your friend, and don't have a temper tantrum. Things happen. Games are meant to be fun, and not being able to defeat a boss is not the end of the world. Take a deep breath, put your controller down, and walk away from the game for a while.

I would also recommend the step above for that unique moment when the final boss charms a member of your party and they fully heal him right before you get in the final blow. I can't even begin to describe how awful that moment feels, and it is so tempting to rage quit the game permanently. Don't do it; you're only going to regret it later. Shelving a game is essentially you as a gamer saying that you've given up. Don't give up. Every boss can be defeated, and you haven't come this far in the game to give up now, have you? Look up a strategy guide, talk to your friends, and try, try again. Eventually, when you beat this game, you'll look back and be proud that you didn't give up for a second, because damn, does it feel good to see those credits roll.

Mission Impossible: The Final Boss

And that was when the controller hit the wall...

Ah, yes, the final boss. You've grinded. You've acquired the finest equipment. You've learnt the best spells. After countless hours of gaming, you find yourself at the end of your journey, the end  in plain sight. Then, as foretold by the prophesy...

... you get your ass handed to you.

Okay... yeah, alright, you can deal with this. This is why they allowed you to save right before this battle, right? It's okay, we can try this again! You then proceed to get your ass kicked. Four more times, in fact. I'll take a wild guess that you're probably a little frustrated by now, am I right? Alright, breathe, and let's look at this logically.

First and foremost, chill. We're adults here and new controllers are expensive. So, you keep getting defeated. It's time to take a look at what you're doing. You've been defeated several times now, so it's safe to assume that this isn't a fluke. (Unless, of course, you are as unlucky as Player 2, upon which the only advice I can offer is perseverance...) Then, what is it? Well, examine your strategy. Do you have your heavy hitters protected and focused on the enemy at all times? Every turn that the boss doesn't take some sort of damage extends the length of the battle and heightens the chances for something to go horribly awry. What about healing? Perhaps you've taken up that role along with another member of your party? It is certainly unnerving to leave something as important as that up to the AI.Or maybe you have your entire party healing and your own character on attack? Either way, maybe you should consider a different method of attack at this point.

Attack order is also something worth thinking about. If your main party member is going last, it's a good way to get a feel for what do do during your turn. However, going first also has it's merits. It allows you to dictate the rest of the party's actions for maximum efficiency, as well as allowing you to cast any buff/de-buff/stat effect items or spells that may be needed. If, by some strange sequence of events, you find yourself taking your turn in the middle of the pack, be cautious with your turn. Remember, every turn is essential here. Player 2 and I often consider turns when healing isn't imperative something of a gift and we always carefully deliberate over the best course of action. Unless this boss is timed, calm down and consider things in light of the battle as a whole. Think of it like chess. You have to make decisions not just on the next turn, but on the next five turns.

What do you guys think? Is one wall of your room permanently dented by the many controllers you've flung at it? Let me know!

Top 3 Reasons Why Women Shouldn't Play Video Games

Silly girl, games are for boys!

We here at 8-Bit Apples and Tea have come to the realization that there are far better things that we could be doing with our time than play video games. I mean, let's face it, us womenfolk are just plain terrible at operating these strange electronic devices, let alone deriving any sort of entertainment from them! Besides, even if we do get any sort of handle on the basics, men will just outshine any efforts we put forth. They are naturally better at video games, after all, just as nature intended. So, why put ourselves through anymore torture? I, for one, won't argue with science. Before we throw in the towel completely, though, allow us to illuminate a few of the many reasons why we and other members of our sex should stay away from these contraptions.

1.) We're Not Smart Enough
The concepts behind video games are far too advanced for the typical female. Shooting zombies, fighting wars, crafting your own simulation world... How could women ever hope to accomplish these same feats as men? Obviously our minds are better occupied pursuing unicorns and ponies, shopping, and applying make-up. I mean, it's not as thought some of the strongest characters in video games are women. No, you certainly don't see any females combating zombies in the Resident Evil series, nor do you see any women fighting against evil in RPGs, and playing the Sims is far more complicated than playing House. No, we women are much better off in the kitchen making sandwiches as the males take over this complicated task of mashing the X button and moving the analog stick.

2.) We Have No Hand Eye Coordination
Let's be serious. Unless it involves the basic motions of putting lunch meats between two slices of bread or gripping the handles of pots and pans, our hands are pretty much useless. Years of evolution, in which our hands adapted to being constantly encased in oven mitts, have left our delicate digits unfit to handle those high-tech game controllers. Our fingers are far better suited to applying nail polish than pressing those complicated buttons. Plus, controllers are just hard to figure out! I mean, personally, I can't figure out the controls unless I'm staring at them. You expect me to do that and have my eyes on the screen at the same time!? Ha! Yeah, right!

3.) We Can't Handle the Dark Themes of Some Games
All women are obviously shrinking violets waiting for a man to come and save them. I mean, not one of us could possibly stand up for ourselves if we were placed in a dangerous situation, and this concept carries over to video games. I mean, if we were allowed to have a controller in hand, we'd scream every time we were attacked by a Big Daddy in Bioshock, every time a ghost appeared in Fatal Frame, and would cry every time a Creeper came up to us in Minecraft. Obviously our weak sensibilities just aren't cut out for video games. I mean, you don't see men weeping like little girls when they play Fatal Frame, do you?

... APRIL FOOLS!